Google, Sex, and Me

Now that I have your attention, ...

One of the things I find interesting is that the searches bringing people to this blog seem to be tad different than the ones reported by bloggers of the female persuasion. Blogger after female blogger reports that their blog is being found by numerous sex related searches. That certainly isn't happening here and I feel really left out and undesirable. This blog is like the shy girl with a crush at the middle school dance as far as Google goes. All that desperate desire for attention, but Google only has eyes for others.

For your amusement, here are the top 10 search terms that have caused Google to deposit people here:

1. grammar rap
2. "russian woman" "she bit"
3. 1936a811f775436384fe7b5e0582814f38e...
4. blood test mpg
5. broke my brother out of hospital
6. dentist allergic to color
7. dentists for dental avoiders
8. don't panic eau de toilette men
9. favorite winter memories
10. finger turns black and blue from finger prick

Grammar rap is an obvious fit for my post extolling the joys of sistersalad and their wonderful "Yo Comments Are Whack!" video. Blood test mpg is clearly a hit for my diabetes post. I can even see some relevance in several other of the terms. But where does the string of hexadecimal digits came from and why am I a match? I figure it must be a search from a double-byte language set, maybe Chinese? Whatever it is, it seems to be popular. Maybe that is where all my sex queries went. (That's it, I have a horde of hot blooded Chinese women performing secret sex acts via my blog. I'm down with that!)

And how about "don't panic eau de toilette men"? I can see how it might drop some poor schmuck or schmuckette into my Five Things I Know But My Dog Doesn't Know I Know post, but I suspect that Google left its followers deeply unsatisfied and in need of the extra kick of eau de toilette when it happened. And I have to ask, why would one panic about men and eau de toilette? Do all men really smell that bad? Have we all joined Molly in drinking at the porcelain goddess' fount? Inquiring minds want to know.

So I continue on, deeply disappointed that the lowlifes of the world aren't looking for and finding my blog via Google. I want the unfettered joy of being able to write humorous posts on the spur of the moment about the odd contortions necessary to achieve a chosen search term. Besides, I can use all the readers I can get! {*grin*}