Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Google, Sex, and Me

Now that I have your attention, ...

One of the things I find interesting is that the searches bringing people to this blog seem to be tad different than the ones reported by bloggers of the female persuasion. Blogger after female blogger reports that their blog is being found by numerous sex related searches. That certainly isn't happening here and I feel really left out and undesirable. This blog is like the shy girl with a crush at the middle school dance as far as Google goes. All that desperate desire for attention, but Google only has eyes for others.

For your amusement, here are the top 10 search terms that have caused Google to deposit people here:
  1. grammar rap
  2. "russian woman" "she bit"
  3. 1936a811f775436384fe7b5e0582814f38e...
  4. blood test mpg
  5. broke my brother out of hospital
  6. dentist allergic to color
  7. dentists for dental avoiders
  8. don't panic eau de toilette men
  9. favorite winter memories
  10. finger turns black and blue from finger prick
Grammar rap is an obvious fit for my post extolling the joys of sistersalad and their wonderful "Yo Comments Are Whack!" video. Blood test mpg is clearly a hit for my diabetes post. I can even see some relevance in several other of the terms. But where does the string of hexadecimal digits came from and why am I a match? I figure it must be a search from a double-byte language set, maybe Chinese? Whatever it is, it seems to be popular. Maybe that is where all my sex queries went. (That's it, I have a horde of hot blooded Chinese women performing secret sex acts via my blog. I'm down with that!)

And how about "don't panic eau de toilette men"? I can see how it might drop some poor schmuck or schmuckette into my Five Things I Know But My Dog Doesn't Know I Know post, but I suspect that Google left its followers deeply unsatisfied and in need of the extra kick of eau de toilette when it happened. And I have to ask, why would one panic about men and eau de toilette? Do all men really smell that bad? Have we all joined Molly in drinking at the porcelain goddess' fount? Inquiring minds want to know.

So I continue on, deeply disappointed that the lowlifes of the world aren't looking for and finding my blog via Google. I want the unfettered joy of being able to write humorous posts on the spur of the moment about the odd contortions necessary to achieve a chosen search term. Besides, I can use all the readers I can get! {*grin*}


  1. What an odd assortment! How did you find this out? Now I'm curious.
    My favorite was Broke my brother out of hospital.

  2. "russian woman" "she bit"
    What?! This post was very enlightening...
    I might have to figure out how folks are coming to me.

  3. Those are much more interesting google search terms than my blog has produced in the past. Even though none of them are sexually explicit, I still find "dentist allergic to color" pretty interesting.

  4. That was funny Dan :) Now I have to go look at my Google account and see what brings people to me!

  5. You know ... I haven't done this in quite some time .. I'll have to steal yet another of your fun ideas and do a post on this! I'm going to do the album cover on Monday I think.

    And the search terms just crack me up -- What the heck is "dentist allergic to color" looking for?

  6. Very interesting. I'm wondering what searches bring my blog up in Google.


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