Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Best Laid Plans ...

In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea. It certainly seemed to be a winner at the time. What else could we do with 400 feet of surgical rubber and a carton of eggs? There are, after all, only so many ways to make those two supplies truly entertaining.

It was a lazy Friday afternoon in the middle of the term. A friend who was off from school for the term and working in a hospital supply warehouse had sent a us a care package. Classes were over for the day and the gathering ennui of what to do for Friday afternoon fun was affecting us all. When we opened the care package and found a reel of surgical rubber - you know, the kind that is real stretchy - we all got ideas and that devilish glow in the eyes that precedes any questionable plan. It took but a moments consideration to see that we had adequate rubber to string between the trees in the front yard of the house. The really fortuitous part was that the aim was perfect for the Beta house across the street.

Now you need a piece of background. The Beta guys were our natural enemies just due to proximity. Our fraternity was co-ed and had gone the independent route long ago, which really rubbed the Beta guys the wrong way. It was not uncommon that pranks and tricks were exchanged on a daily basis. The last had involved some rather aromatic jars placed in our house. So we were primed for revenge.

Nancy and Cyndi came up with the half carton of boiled eggs and we were set. With a little ingenuity, we created a pouch for our modified slingshot. We could get more than 200 feet of pull, requiring two of us to hold the egg pouch back against the eager pull of the rubber strands. Nelson and Andy served as our gunnery officers to ensure good aim. The first shot went astray, missing the university presidents house by mere inches. Andy was immediately replaced by Thomas and adjustments made. The second shot spatted rather dramatically on the brick of the Beta house. With just a little more correction of our aim, we were ready for the fateful third shot. It was a direct hit on the window at one end of the Beta house.

Just so you understand, a boiled egg at that velocity punches an oval hole in the glass without breaking the pane. But, the egg then immediately disintegrates, spraying egg bits in a cloud throughout the room. Leaving few symptoms of what really happened until the egg starts rotting in a few days. It was like watching an anthill explode as the people came streaming out of the house and looked around confusedly to see what had made the bang. They never even thought to wonder what we were doing with the reel of rubber tubing behind our backs across the street. It took them almost a day to finally spot the oval hole in the window. Come spring, both houses would be hoisting water balloons at each other via surgical rubber slingshots. After the painful effort that the Beta guys went through to get rid of the rotting egg odor, a non-aggression pact of sorts had been forged: No More Eggs.

And that is how I attempted to make the world a better place. By egg bombing the Betas in an exploit that joined the lore of both houses and led to the first non-aggression pact.

This is my response to Mama Kat's Writer's Challenge. Head on over and read the challenge and visit the linky sites.

18 comments:

  1. That is so funny!! I had no idea! Here I was throwing raw eggs at houses, when the whole time I could have been doing much more damage with cooked ones! And this just confirms that boys are way more inventive, and troublesome, than girls!! lol

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  2. This was so great! I loved it ... you know that anything that starts with "What else could we do with 400 feet of surgical rubber and a carton of eggs?" is going to be funny!

    I give you an A+!

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  3. That was too funny...thanks for sharing. I need to remember to boil the eggs before I throw them...who knew??

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  4. Great story!! You definitely had me laughing. Those no good Betas..I'm sure they desereved it!

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  5. Well of course that is what you did! Boys! :)

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  6. I wish I had known this back in my mischief days. I would have clued my four brothers in so they could cause trouble!

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  7. haha. It reminds me of a party I attended once at Harvy Mudd. They were all such nerds devising ways to do what you did, only much more technical. But I think they had fun. It sounds like you did. :)

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  8. And they still let you become mayor?!?

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  9. After your third sentence I thought...yay! Slingshot! I am so glad you didn't disappoint. I know now to stay away from eggs, unless I really, RAELLY don't like the person.

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  10. Loved this response to the prompt. What a great story. Inspired action like this is the stuff of legends.

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  11. Sometimes revenge is sweet and sometimes it smells like rotting eggs.

    I was never into Greeks in college ---it seemed like an excuse to cause trouble --and your post proves it. The trouble our frat boys got into always seemed to involve massive amounts of alcohol.

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  12. High quality shenanigans! I love it!

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  13. BTW, I am disappearing for a while and/or changing my username. Evidently someone is searching google for my username to find comments, hello, cyberstalker...

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