Glossophobia and Beer

In lieu of watching the Broncos lose yet again, I did the crossword puzzle. What to my wondering eyes should appear but the clue "Overcome glossophobia." The appearance of that particular word made my day.

Why? I can't tell you the number of people who have stated to me that they suffer from glossophobia. Usually in a meandering manner because they don't know that what they suffer is called glossophobia. And usually directly after I have evinced an utter lack of the affliction. Have you caught on to what glossophobia means yet? Here's the definition from Wikipedia: glossophobia. Clearer now?

Now that you know what it means, you have probably figured out that the answer to "Overcome glossophobia." is orate. I.e. if you have a fear of public speaking, the cure is to speak in public.

I suffered from glossophobia in my teens and twenties. Speaking in public had some aspects of pulling teeth without anesthetic. Not pleasant at all. But then somewhere along the path of life, I realized that most people dread public speaking and are just so happy it is you standing up there in front that you could recite the alphabet and they would applaud. That recognition coupled with the realization that I have already embarrassed myself in almost every way possible and survived leads to a complete lack of fear of blithering in public.

I'll leave you with a section from this post of long ago.

• You have lost all fear of public speaking, no matter how small, large, friendly, or angry the audience. (You figure that by now you have already embarrassed yourself in every way possible. The challenge now is finding creative new ways of attaining embarrassment. After the time you drunkenly recited the Beer Prayer, nude, from the second story balcony, to an audience of thousands, everything else is simply anti-climatic.)

For those who don't know the Beer Prayer:

The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.
Barmen.

(This version from Ted Guhl)

P.S. No, I haven't ever recited the Beer Prayer in the nude from a balcony. Close, but not quite.