Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Spitting Image of the Bear

Some more fun topics for Mama Kat's Writer's Challenge this week!
1.) What's cooking in YOUR crockpot?
(inspired by Joss from My Irish Twins)

2.) Find your one very favorite picture of Summer and write a poem about it.
(inspired by me)

3.) Pay tribute to a favorite blogger! (And while you're at it link up and enter to win an adorable pettiskirt. I want it.)
(inspired by Kacey and Fran from Mayhem And Moxie)

4.) When I look in the mirror...
(inspired by Liz from Loving Mom 2 Boys)

5.) The top ten things I'd rather be doing than having sex with David Letterman
(inspired by Happy Hour Sue from Happy Meals & Happy Hour)

With a hey-nony-nony and a hi-dee-ho, it off to the races we go. (Nothing like a misquote of Jeeves to give a lively start!)

#1 - - Nothing at the moment, but sometime in the near future there will be a pot of bean soup simmering away. Nothing like a mixture of beans and spices and  tomatoes, simmering for hours, to make a cold house feel like a warm home. I think I even have a ham bone in the freezer I can throw in for that extra bit of flavor.

#2 -- When I first read this, I had a lively debate with myself over why Mama Kat wanted us to dig up a picture of Summer from Le Musings Of Moi and then write a poem about it. Then I realized it was a bit like that canonical grammar book title - Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation. I suspect that Mama really meant to use summer as in the season rather than the proper noun Summer as I first thought. In any case, my mental confusion is probably more amusing that any  poem I might crank out.

#3 -- This is one where taste comes to the fore. I am an uber fan of Matt Springer and his blog Built on Facts. Matt is a graduate student in physics at Texas A&M and writes great reality and mathematics based vignettes for the lay and student audience. (My description sounds really boring, but the actual writing is anything but boring.) My favorite part of his blog is the Sunday Function every week. You should really visit to see if it tickles your blog reading funny bone.

#4 -- When I look in the mirror I hear my mirror screaming out for me to clean its dirty face. Once I am able to tune the mirror and the streaks out, what I see is a function of the time of day and mood of the moment. If I have my glasses on so that I can actually see anything at all, then I generally see the me I see in my mind's eye but with gray hair and less of a hairline than I remember inside my head. Unfortunately, comparison to pictures from yesteryear shows that I never did look like Robert Redford in his heyday. Heck, even in my younger days I would have been lucky to pass as Bob "the bear" Hite from Canned Heat. A bit like this;

Bob "the bear" Hite

#5 -- As a heterosexual male, I think that *anything* would be better than contemplating sex with Mr. Letterman. That said, here is my quick list:
  • Chew glass while listening to Oprah
  • Stand naked in the snow in subzero weather
  • Watch commercial TV
  • Undergo a root canal
  • ...without anesthetic
  • Eat roly-poly bugs
  • Walk on a bed of coals
  • Speak before an audience of thousands armed with projectiles
  • ... in my skivies
  • Get ready for a colonoscopy


  1. I love your top ten list! Some of those I look at and say OMG NOOOOOO! But then the with David Letterman...No thanks!

    Your bean soup sound delicious!

  2. I'm still laughing...
    What? You're not a fan of the Opes?

    I'd love to steal your bean soup recipe for my blog..?? Pretty please?

  3. Love the chewing glass thing. So funny and probably exactly my hubby would say.
    Beans, beans, the musical I'm hungry.

  4. #5 had me laughing...especially item 1. Very funny.

  5. Oh my gosh : ) I love your list Dan! Fantastic. I love that when men look in the mirror they are not nearly as critical as women are. Typically any way! And I love yout funny take on Summer : )

  6. I'm SO with you on Oprah!! I find her to not be so "god like" and rather annoying and abrasive!

  7. I thought the same thing when I read the Summer prompt!

    Love 15 bean soup! Who would know there are fifteen kinds of beans?

    I bet Mama Kat wasn't thinking of men as potential responders for the Letterman prompt.

  8. Dan, this whole post had me cracking up!!!

    The Summer option had me quite confused as well.... =) Honored and confused.

    Chewing glass while listening to Oprah?!? Genius!

  9. When I come to your blog, I just know I'm going to leave with a smile. You do not disappoint.

    "my mental confusion is probably more amusing" Well, don't know how the poetry would come out, but the mental confusion was funny!

    And the colonscopy ~ yeah, good one. My brother said the worst thing about the whole ordeal is "getting ready" for it. Yikes!

  10. Wow, such an over achiever! You did all five! Given the cold weather, the standing in subzero weather made me shudder. It'll be that time of year much too soon!

  11. No way, Dan. Sex with David Letterman would be better than that horror list!

  12. I have to tell you ... I had the exact same thought about Summer!!!! I almost did it as a joke but then didn't.

    And your Top 10 list is truly horrifying!

  13. I laughed when I read your post about Summer. I tend to cut and paste my prompt of choice right into my post. Later in the day I went back and read what I wrote and thought, "Why did I capitalize the "S" in summer? Then I fixed it and went about my day. . . then I read your post and went "Oh, right! I didn't."

    Being a heterosexual female. . . ditto.

  14. I too thought the same thing about Summer from Le Musings of Moi. Too funny!

    Also- the Oprah thing. Bahahahaha! I agree!

    And getting ready for a colonoscopy...unfortunately at the age of 34 I know what his means and it is a great addition to your list!


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