Attending funerals is not one of my favorite activities. I understand on an intellectual level how important the rite is for the grieving and recovery process. But that doesn't mean I like it on an emotional level. In preference to most formal funerals, I would much rather see a moment of silent remembrance of the times we shared. When I die, I want my funeral to be a celebration, a party in honor of the good times we have shared together. No matter what your belief system, you can glory in the shared remembrances of good times past. So when I daydream and think about such things and plan my prototype for a good last rite, I have the following criteria:
- Length - Keep it short, no more than 20 minutes of formal ceremony.
- Music - Play the music I loved and we shared.
- Remembrances - Remember the good times that we shared.
- Afterwards - Have a party with food and conversation and music. Share the support and comradeship of those who were part of my journey.
With those things in mind, I want the service music to be Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven and the Grateful Dead's Truckin. I
I know it won't make one heck of a difference what I want. As my minister friend explained, funerals are for the living, not the dead. They are a rite designed to accelerate the grieving process and begin the healing process. A party in that circumstance looks a bit like avoidance. So call me an avoiding
This post will probably be a test of your age. If you are below a certain 20/30 something age, you probably haven't even thought about any of this. If you are beyond a a certain 70/80 something age, you probably already have it planned down to the minute. And then there are the rest of us. Where do you sit/stand?