The Case of the Disappearing Blogger

Do you ever wonder what happens to people you meet via the blogosphere when they disappear? Sometimes they seem to disappear from the face of the earth with no explanation or hint of impending disappearance.

I don't know about you, but I always start off for the first several weeks assuming that something in real life must have come up and then they will return.  But as the missing time extends to a month, I tend to actually visit the website {*gasp*} to make sure it is not a changed or missing RSS feed. And when it doesn't turn out to be that, I start to assume that for whatever reason they have decided to stop blogging. In the back of my mind I hope that they have not suffered illness or accident or other misfortune. By the second month, I have usually come to acceptance that I will never know what happened to cause their disappearance, and, in many cases, it is not long thereafter that their web design graphics hosting fades and the site becomes nothing more than ugly placeholders. Rarely is there a return from the prolonged heat death of the site.

But there are exceptions. One recent returnee after undergoing blogging heat death is Angela of Angel Eyes Adventures, the hostess of Friday High Five. It will be interesting to hear (or not) the tale behind her sudden disappearance from the web early last November. In any case,

Welcome Back Angela!

Thankful Five

Time once more for

As I sit here waiting for the Broncos game to start so I can properly nap through it like any other stuffed turkey (or is that stuffed with turkey), I am thankful for many things. So here is my highly edited

Thankful Five

• Family and friends.
  

• L and the time we get to spend together over this holiday.
  

• Sharing in a huge feast on a beautiful day. 
  

• The fur shedding machine known as Molly, even though all of my black clothes look as tho they are sprouting white hair due to her talents.
  

• Those who stop by and read and comment on the blog.
  

• Those who write the blogs I read and (occasionally) comment on. Without you, my day-to-day life would be a lot more boring.
  

• Those who are filling the upcoming month with parties and gatherings of good will. (And especially if they invite me!) 
  

• That I am going shopping tomorrow. Not!
  

OK, I admit it, I fibbed and listed more than 5. So sue me. {*grin*}

Five Experiences of Today

Time once more for

Five Experiences of Today

• Getting a phone call from the local businessman who wants to develop a software application. He calls every nine months or so and once I explain the costs of what he desires, he always says he'll just have his son who "works for Google" do it. I always pleasantly wish him good luck and he hangs up. He doesn't know that his son and I have discussed the matter several times and are in full agreement on what it will cost to build his dream.

• Discovering that at least one of the Honey Dew melons I picked back at the start of October when the weather was turning freezing was edible. Note that I said edible, not necessarily the tastiest. Made a good alternative for breakfast.
  

• Sitting in a community development / community assessment meeting and realizing it is the same gripes and ideas I have heard every year, just a new group vocalizing and planning. But the real key is that I could just serenely smile, since it won't be my problem anymore come next Tuesday.

• Seeing the woman whose husband is deathly ill make the effort to attend the meeting because she feels so passionately about it. Her husband's illness has aged her tremendously, but she is still fighting the battle to ensure a better life and community for all. People like her are what has made the job of mayor so rewarding. (Of course, they are also often the sharpest thorns in the side as well.)

• Meeting the gentleman with the most gorgeous German Shepard / Wolf mix dog I have ever seen as I walked home for the above meeting. The dog was 15 years old and deaf as a stone, but still had that absolute erect carriage and majesty so emblematic of the breed. The owner communicated entirely by hand signals with the dog due to the deafness.

I'll leave you with the lonely Honey Dews trying to ripen in the shop:

Five Experiences of Today

Time once more for

Five Experiences of Today

• Low barometric pressure fore-running the storm and cold rolling in tomorrow.
  

• Weather with 58 degree warmth after dark due to the above. (Thus was actually pleasant!)
  

• A special joint meeting of the city, county and rural fire district wherein the group calling the meeting had no prepared agenda.
  

• Sinus headache.
  

• Dryness. With the change in the weather my nose and mouth and eyeballs are dry. You know it is bad when your tongue sticks to your upper palate and your eyeballs hurt.
  

A cold front is supposed to roll through tomorrow evening possibly bringing snow and wind and ... It has already brought falling barometric pressure as witnessed by my goose neck barometer:

Notice the blue fluid almost running out the top of the tube. A sure sign that the barometric pressure is really low and that all my joints are screaming. What fun!

Five Lines Overheard Tonight

Time once more for

Five Lines Overheard Tonight

• Are you sure she isn't dead?
• More brains?
• The cream puffs and worms are really good!
• More swamp water?
• Can you pull that spear of fruit out of his head for me?
  

As you might have discerned, I was at the rescheduled chamber of commerce Halloween meet and greet that was prevented by last weeks blizzard. The local business hosting the event went to all the work of recreating the entire layout of Halloween food for us tonight. A great time was had my all.

Ahoy Yon Blizzard

Time once more for

Five Things To Do During A Blizzard

• Answer the phone to hear all the meeting cancellations pour in. 
• Stare at the wall of white visible out of the windows.
• Call the MIL to tell her I'd be over tomorrow when the worst is past to clean her sidewalk.
• Try to explain to Molly the dog that pacing the house growling won't make the wind outside stop howling.
• Be thankful that the total snowfall isn't measured in feet rather than inches.
  

For the curious, here is the warning from the NWS that came out late in the afternoon for this area:

Issued by The National Weather Service
Denver/Boulder, CO
6:07 pm MDT, Thu., Oct. 29, 2009

... BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM MDT FRIDAY...

A BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM MDT FRIDAY.

PERIODS OF HEAVY SNOW AND STRONG NORTH WINDS GUSTING TO AROUND 45 MPH WILL PRODUCE BLIZZARD CONDITIONS THROUGH THE EVENING HOURS. ADDITIONAL SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 5 TO 12 INCHES ARE EXPECTED. THE COMBINATION OF HEAVY SNOWFALL AND STRONG WINDS WILL MAKE TRAVEL DIFFICULT IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE. SEVERE DRIFTING WILL CAUSE ROAD CLOSURES IN THE AREA.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A BLIZZARD WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE OCCURRING OR IMMINENT. SUSTAINED WIND AND/OR FREQUENT WIND GUSTS OF 35 MPH OR HIGHER WILL COMBINE WITH CONSIDERABLE FALLING AND BLOWING SNOW TO PRODUCE WIDESPREAD VISIBILITIES BELOW ONE QUARTER OF A MILE. TRAVEL WILL BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND IS DISCOURAGED IN THESE WHITEOUT CONDITIONS. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL... HAVE A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT WITH YOU. IF YOU GET STRANDED... STAY WITH YOUR VEHICLE AND WAIT FOR HELP TO ARRIVE.

Five Words Of Questionable Desirability ...

It's time once more for

Five Words Of Questionable Desirability To Hear While In The Dentist's Chair

• Dermatologist
• Appointment
• Rash
• Hole
• Run

Today was my normal cleaning and checkup at the dentist. As the hygienist was cleaning my teeth, she said she wasn't sure if Doc would get a chance to look at my teeth before he had to be off to his appointment. (Leaving me wondering what appointment? I usually have a pretty good idea of who is meeting with whom about what, but I had no clue.) Doc hurried in and told her to hold off on the polishing so he can do my exam before he has to go.


Doc is an old acquaintance, so he explains that he is rushed since he has an appointment with the dermatologist. He adds that since he likes his patients to be on time, he wants to be on time for his appointment. Fair enough. So after giving the OK on my teeth, we visit for a few moments and then he looks at his watch and says "Gotta run, I've got an appointment with the dermatologist about the rash and hole in the skin on my ankle. Gotta run."


I'm still wondering if that wasn't TMI? I'm also wondering if he remembered to take his mask and gloves off before he walked into the dermatologists office?

Things Not To Do

It's time once more for

Last night I attended a candidate forum for the city council races. I probably should not have done so since I heard at least one candidate tell a lie, another expose their ignorance of science and facts, and yet another state projected actions in direct violation of the city charter. It was hard to sit still and not stand up and play the anti-stupid card. Thus I bring you:

Five Reasons Not To Attend A Candidate Forum As You Leave Office

• Candidates may expose their lack of knowledge in painful ways.
  

• There is a strong temptation to stand up and ask the candidates to stop telling lies.
  

• There is a desire to insist they actually attend a council meeting and/or read the public engineering reports before making really stupid statements.
  

• The idiot in the audience unable to comprehend any answer in any form. He/she will still waste the time of the entire audience by asking the exact same question 40 times before being escorted from the room by their nurse.
  

• Realizing that some candidates you thought might be capable lack even a basic understanding of the form of government spelled out by the city charter.
  

Five Things I Learned In Prison ...

It's time once more for

This evening I was the guest lecturer at a class on public speaking - in prison. It was part of a college curriculum for selected inmates under a program developed and funded by a now deceased local benefactor who believed strongly in the power of education to change the course of the convicts future life. I started with a 45 minute explanation of the current water situation with a Q&A session as an example of a typical speech. Then I talked about how I had gone from being absolutely scared of public speaking in my teens to the current state of being able to talk to any group any time without qualm. All in all a lively class with bright and inquisitive students. And like any class room experience, the teacher often learns a lot as well. Thus I bring you

Five Things I Learned In Prison Tonight

• The rabbits are going wild. I must have seen 20 rabbits running across the exercise yard on the way to the education annex. In the snow and rain and freezing temperatures no less.
  

• Never forget to tell the invisible guard you are clear of the door he has remotely unlocked for you. He might threaten to leave you there permanently.
  

• Students are really avid for these classes. When the cell block gets the call for the education program, the student-inmates literally run to make sure they miss no part of the class.
  

• Walking back across the exercise yard after dark during the last exercise period makes one feel very alone - even though a stream of higher security inmates and their guards are scattered around the area.
  

• The questions and concerns of the inmates differ little from the community as a whole, especially on the water issue.

The Send-Off

It's time once more for

This evening was the Colorado Municipal League (CML) District 1 meeting, hosted by the city up the road. I am the current president, so I was obligated to brave the wind and attend. Since I am also term limited out of office as mayor in November, it also means I will no longer be a CML member and so needed to find my replacement as president and hold the election *NOW*. I couldn't get even with the mayor of the city up the road who railroaded me into this office (as described here) because he is also term limited out this year. Sam Mamet, the executive director of the CML attended and gave Jack (the mayor of the town up the road) and I a very heartfelt and lauditory send-off. That was really nice of Sam. He even stopped crowing about the Rockies clinching a berth in the play-offs today. But that didn't stop Sam from waving his Rocky rally towel all night. In honor of the send-off and my final CML meeting, tonight I give you:

Five Reactions By Officials From Other Municipalities To The End of My Term(s)

• Gosh, it's been *that* long!
  
• Boy, I wish I  my term was already over. Our elections are in April and I can't wait!
  
• Did you find any candidates to run for your office?
  
• Are you going to miss it?
• Were you serious that 3 of the 7 on your council are term limited off this November and a 4th is running to retain her seat? And if the election goes the way you think, it will happen again in 2 years? How do you get any stability? Why haven't the voters removed the term limits?
  

Five Upcoming Events

It's time once more for

Five Upcoming Events

• Grand Opening of the Xeriscape Gardens Project
• Five Year Anniversary Open House of The Legacy (assisted living center)
• District 1 Colorado Municipal League Meeting - My last meeting as President
• Jury Duty for Me - Next Tuesday no less
  

and finally, and perhaps the most important

• My One Year Blogoversary. I started blogging on September 25th, 2008. Now 311 posts later I am still at it. Too bad for you! {*grin*}

For extra credit, what do the first three events have in common? The answer is in the first comment.

Garage Sale Ho!

It's Friday and I'm in the throes of preparing for our once every seven years garage sale. Thus it's time for

Five Hazards Of  Garage Sales

• Seeing just how much junk you have accumulated. Neotoma cinerea has nothing on me.

• Realizing that many of the items you treasure for their emotional importance to you are quite literally priceless - as in no one would pay a wooden nickel for them.

• Finding that particular doodad you stored away so carefully so that you wouldn't have to buy a new one when the one in use died. Of course you have already replaced said doodad several times, buying a new one each time because you couldn't find the one you so carefully stored away.

• Feeling gritty and dirty because of all the dust you keep digging through in the stacks of junk that hasn't seen the light of day for years. After all, who moves and dusts their junk stacks unless it is time for a garage sale?
  

• Dreading the coming of the Saturday morning early-lookie-loos. You know, the people who believe that if you said you were opening at 8am, they should be able to stop in and cherry pick at 7am. The same people who will ring your doorbell continuously until you stumble to the door at 6:45am just to inquire if you won't let them have a quick look before they start lobbying for the 7am cherry feeding frenzy. Those people.
  

Five Odd Words ...

It's Friday and thus time for

Five Odd Words In Common Usage

• Doodad
• Thingamajig
• Doohickey
• Whatchamacallit
• Widget

Just so you understand how odd these words are, let's look at some of the definitions of doodad:

1. An un-nameable gadget of some sort, possibly highly technical.
2. Another meaning for father or dad.
3. A father of Indian descent.
4. For when you use thingamajig too much: used to refer to an object you can't remember name for.
5. "Doodad" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adjective. Adjective: You add "-ish" to the end of this word to state an opinion if you're not sure if you like this or not and don't want to insult someone. Noun: You can use it for it's common, bland meaning as a nameless object, but you can also call someone a doodad to describe them as call or as uncool. Verb: You can use doodad as a verb to describe that you are doing something nameless and/or that you don't want to explain.

So I could emit any of the following three sentences and make perfect sense:

Adjective: "Eh, I suppose it's doodaddish."

Noun: "Oh my God, he was being SUCH a doodad!"

Verb: "Nothing much, just doodadding."

Your task, should you accept it, is to think of other odd words that have grown into similar catchall status.

Five Odd Facts Vaguely ...

It's Friday and thus time for

Five Odd Facts Vaguely Related To Computers

• 94% of all existing blogs have not been updated in four months.
  

• 2 out of 3 Twitter users access Twitter only while at work.
  

• Moderate Internet surfers are 9% more productive in their jobs than non-surfers.
  

• World wide usage of electricity is projected to fall 3.5% this year; this is the first time since recordkeeping began in 1945 that the world wide usage has declined.
  

• 82% of male British IT workers say they consider their sex partners' needs before their own; the highest of all industries.

Facts courtesy of Funny Times and Harper's Index.

Wishing Well,Wishing Well ....

It's Friday and thus time for

Five Odd Things I Really Wish I Knew How To Do

• Embrace my enemies - in something other than a fatal bear hug! Revenge may indeed be a dish best eaten cold, but there are times when one just isn't hungry.
  
  
• Understand the thinking behind some of the decisions in the design of PulseAudio (Linux techie specific - non techies can ignore. {*grin*}).
  
  
• Find gainful employment that doesn't involve starting another company or being part of another start up.
  
  
• Sleep more than five hours a night. Heck, just sleep for more than five hours at a time any part of the day.
  
  
• Regain the pain free existence of youth, that halcyon time when nothing hurt and everything worked, no matter how hard I tried to abuse it.
  
  

The Ugly Pain of ...

It's Friday and thus time for

Five Clothing Scale Errors That Drive Me Crazy

As most of you know, I am not a tiny person - in fact not even normal size. Last I checked, I'm still about 6'5" and 300+ lbs. That means I don't buy clothing in the aisles of WalMart or Target. Clothing meant for us monsters is readily available elsewhere, but, and it is a big but, manufacturers don't make big clothing by doing a "fit the person" remodel. No, they simply take the pattern used for little people clothing and scale it so the some one measurement is in the ball park. The problem is that people generally don't scale linearly as they grow. Some are tall and thin, some are short and round, some have long torsos and short legs while others have long legs and short torsos, etc. Then there are people like me. I have the classic beer barrel on short stilts with gorilla arms and a bowling ball head build - and no neck. I'm serious, it seems that my chin is directly attached to my chest. Thus the topic of my Friday High Five this week. (Although it might better be titled Friday Low Five or Five Rants for Friday this week.)

• Pockets do not scale well. I have shirts that I could easily carry a midget in the pocket. Same goes for the back pockets on pants.
  
  
• Collars on shirts are too tall. When you have no neck, a collar can feel like a steel neck ring. Especially when it was scaled to a height to match the 20 inch non-neck scaling.
  
  
• Long sleeves are not. I have exactly one long sleeved shirt. Unfortunately, I do have a number of 3/4 sleeve shirts that were purchased as long sleeved shirts.
  
  
• Hats are just plain hard to find for people with big heads. (I heard that - it has nothing to do with egomania!)  With a 9 3/4 inch hat size, I can prove one size dosn't fit all.
  
  
• And finally, the capstone of my litany of scale ills: manufacturers chintz out and use a standard length zipper on pants. Which means that get to "that certain part of the male anatomy", one has to pull the pants down because the zipper ends closer to the belly button than the crotch. 'Nuff said.

Five Random Annoyances ...

Time once more for:

Five Random Annoyances Whose Elimination Would Make Life Better

Mosquitoes - 'nuf said.

People who dither. Nothing is worse that getting a call from someone who has to describe the lint on their pants and the color of their dental floss before they finally get to the point of the call. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, not a random walk in the woods.

Mushy phone calls. Some people seem not to realize that as the charge on their cell phone goes down, the voice quality gets worse and worse. In fact, there are some people who call that I know well and yet the sound quality makes it so I can't understand a word they are saying, let alone recognize them.

Email forwarders. You know who I mean - the ones who insist on sending you all the old stale jokes and urban legends in existance. I find that once they have been reamed a new one by my response after the first time, the brighter ones tend not to do it again. See yesterdays post under chutzpah.

The Dog Days of August. Molly sheds long clumps of white hair at this time of year, depositing new tufts of fur within minutes of vacuuming. So the carpet looks like this:

(Sorry how hard it is to see the white Molly fur on the light carpet.)

It literally looks like I have a mad three year old barber wanna-be who attacked the dog all through the house.

Guilty Musical Pleasures

Time once more for:

 

A sad fact of life is that we all have music we love and listen to that doesn't conform to our normal tastes or likes. In fact, this music is often embarrassing to admit that we listen to, let alone like. Thus I present for your aural edification my escapes from my normal Iron Butterfly tainted taste buds.

Five Guilty Musical Pleasures

Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha Busta Version - click here (video embedding disabled)

Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend - click here (video embedding disabled)

The Veronicas - 4Ever

The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart

Heart - What About Love

So what are your guilty musical pleasures? C'mon - I know you have some.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Time once more for:

 

Five Smile Inducing Events This Week

• Running into a pair of Santa Clauses and having them ask me to join them. They are part of a local group of professional Santas who have started a charity called "Santas Of Sterling" to raise money for kids at Christmas. They said my beard was white enough, but I'd have to let it grow longer to be fully acceptable. In their expert opinion, my belly already jiggles appropriately. (The Santas serve as far away as New Hampshire during Holiday season. Our town might very well have the highest percentage of professional Santas of any town short of the North Pole. It is always interesting come November to hear where they are going to be serving [some are local only, some travel the U.S.]).
  

• Watching the young lady who was smaller than her dog exhibit perfect control of said dog. I'd guess she was no more than 7 or 8, but she had that Great Dane wrapped around her little finger. When she said sit, it sat. When she said heel, it heeled. And when it sat, she and the dog were eye to eye.
  

• Sharing the radio studio with some of the Fair/Rodeo Royalty as they came in to help publicize the County Fair that runs for the next week or two. Seems impossible to me that I was ever that young. {*grin*} I still have no good  answer to my question: Why are there so many barrel racers in the Queen and her court each year?
  

• Watching the price of gas continue to fall. A drop of 10 cents in the last week or so here. Everything goes better when gas stays well below the $2.50/gallon mark.
  

• The fact that it rained and has been refreshingly cool since Tuesday. If I didn't know better, I could believe that September was here already. I figure it will either be hot and miserable or rainy and cold next week when I have to man the EMS authority booth at the fair. Nothing like sitting out in the cold rain for 5 hours to make everything hurt.
  

A Week of Happiness

Time once more for:

 

Five Occurrences That Made For Some Happiness This Week

• The mosquito who put the bite on my rear end while I slept. I am sure it made the nasty little blood sucker happy, but when I woke up in the morning, it itched like mad. Not to mention my pants rubbed that exact spot and made it itch all day, leaving me the choice of looking indecent while scratching or suffering mortal agony as it itched.
  

• The gentleman who so enjoyed talking to me in the park. I still have no clue who he was, but he was willing to discuss my golf game, the best time of day to walk, how his business was going, and other trivia. He knew me by name and I can't escape the feeling I should have known who he was.
  

• The chickadee and wrens who waged war outside my bedroom window at 5am. I'm sure they enjoyed making all that racket a lot more than I enjoyed hearing it.
  

• The prowling pussy cat that drove Molly wild. She sat two inches from the screen of the sliding door and meowed relentlessly as Molly tried to get someone, anyone to open the screen. When I finally gave in and let Molly out, the pussy was forced to sprint to make it over the fence in time. Molly was very proud of herself for protecting me from that vicious pussy. I think she felt she earned her doggie treat after all that hoopla.
  

• The back-of-the-truck fish guy who came knocking on my door tonight. When I asked to see his sales tax license to verify if he was legitimate, he couldn't leave fast enough. Heck, I even offered to call the tax license people and get him set up. I knew exactly what department of the city he needed to talk to. He seemed more interested in heading on down the road. I wonder how long it will take him to remember we had a similar conversation about 6 months ago, the last time he stopped by.