Thursday, April 9, 2009

Five Things I Have Never Done ...

Without further ado I give you:

Five Things I Have Never Done That I Will Probably Never Do In The Future

(How's that for the title that ate Philadelphia?)
New and Improved - With Pictures!!!

I have never starred in a porno movie. As a teenage male this was number one on my hit parade of fantasies. Somehow, it just never happened. Now, all these years later, I look askance at the whole idea. {*grin*} I did once have a porno starlet smile at me at a party, but I think that was just because she was under the influence of drugs and alcohol and was smiling at everything, including the potted plant she later became intimately acquainted with. Oh well.

I have never been arrested sans clothing outside a bar. In fact, I have never been arrested, period. (As regular readers know, that is my standard tweak to the local press as to how I will let them know I am tired of being mayor. {*grin*})

I have never yodeled the Gettysburg Address in the Swiss Alps. Heck, I've never even yodeled in the shower.


I have never ridden a pig bareback. For that matter, I have never ridden a pig with a saddle or tack. Going out on a limb, I doubt I will be riding a horse anytime in the future either (especially given it has been 40+ years since the last horse ride on my part)

I have never taken a art class featuring "anatomical studies". I did have a Nobel prize winning professor who used to go to topless bars to draw on his lunch hour. As he put it - "No one will ever admit to having seen me here and I can draw without interruption.There's no other place near campus where that is a true statement."

So that's my five for this week - what are your five?


  1. Very fun! And I am happy to report that I have never done any of those things either!

    I've never scaled a building dressed in a superhero costume.

  2. haha! Didn't someone once say "never say never"??

  3. Loved this random list of nevers! I can honestly say I've never done any of them either.

  4. Haha! What a fun list. It definitely made me smile. As Fiona said though, "never say never"!

  5. I haven't done any of those either! Well maybe one but I won't tell you which one!!

  6. JUST KIDDING!!!! I bet I made you wonder though!!! Thanks for joining again and for making me laugh!

  7. Dan, you crack me up! Here's my list: I have never sky dived naked, I have never eaten eel, I have never been arrested as an adult, I have never trapped a skunk with a clothes basket and I have never been to Boston in the fall.

  8. Very funny!...some future goals perhaps?
    Heres my 5..
    -I've never scaled Mt. Everest without oxygen
    -I've never made out with anyone from the show "The Sopranos"
    -I've never gotten married in Vegas
    -I've never worn a sandwich board to advertise something
    -I've never had court side seats to see the Harlem Globetrotters

  9. Well this is good one! I can guess that your Google sex searches will be boosted by this post! Lovely photo!

    Here's my own list.

    I have never eaten my own vomit.
    I have never performed brain surgery.
    I have never eaten an eyeball.
    I have never broken into a house and stolen a TV.
    I have never humiliated myself on National TV.


You know you want to ... so just do it!!!

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin